TOP 10 IRRITATING MALE HABITS
Men are the second greatest humans on Earth – true story. As the saying goes, behind every great man is a great woman, but many people don’t know the alternative idiom. Behind every great man is a great woman who puts up with his sh*t.
Below is SWAG's list of annoying traits that many men share and women can’t seem to understand (in no particular order). Now, we know that not all men are like this, but these characteristics must have been inspired by some truths, no?
Fear not, we’re not just picking on men. Stay tuned for the Top 10 Irritating Female Habits.
1. Releasing bodily gases in public
We know your mother probably told you ‘better out than in’, but it only takes a bit of common sense to determine whether emptying your bowel gas or burping in front of strangers is a good idea.
2. Leaving a trail of hair and toenail trimmings, dishes and dirty laundry
If you’re a grown man you shouldn’t be living with your mother, which means you need to clean up your own crap. Don’t leave it to the last minute when you remember you’ve invited people over – you can’t remove the stench of decaying food and sweaty socks so easily. If you’re the type who still doesn’t clean up knowing people are coming over … you must be single.
3. Obliviousness
We’re not sure what it is, it could be a combination of absent mindedness and racing thoughts, but it’s not uncommon that men are oblivious to things including remembering appointments, noticing whether you’re in a bad mood or failing to realise just how much noise they make when making their 6am smoothies. Infuriating!
4. Selective hearing
Men have the useful skill of only hearing (and remembering) things that are beneficial or fun for them. If it’s not about sex, sports, video games or what’s for dinner, you really should find the right time to bring it up.
5. Selective blindness
No matter how many times you tell a man the screwdriver is in the top drawer, some of them can’t seem to see what’s right in front of them. That means you need to stop what you’re doing, go over to the top drawer and pinpoint its exact location. Which is usually in plain sight.
6. Helplessness around the house
Similar to selective blindness, some men regress to their childhood when asked to help out with chores. I don’t know where the detergent is. I don’t like hanging laundry. I’m awful at peeling potatoes. Can’t I just stick to light bulb-changing duty? No sir, you cannot.
7. Falling asleep after good ol’ fashioned intimate relations
For the sake of decorum, we’re going to refer to that thing adults do as intimate relations. It’s not very nice when all you want to do is cuddle after a naughty tumble, but your man is snoring away in full glory. Is it scientifically impossible for men to stay awake?
8. Man flu
There’s the Seasonal Flu and there’s the Man Flu. This strain of flu has symptoms including a mild headache, runny nose and flushed cheeks. The cure? A week whinging in bed, a pile of snotty tissues on the bedside table and lot of TLC from their ever-so-patient partner.
9. Sports or video game rage
There are things that just don’t make sense. One being men referring to themselves as part of their favourite sports team and the second is thinking video games are real. Men, YOU didn’t lose last night’s game, so YOU shouldn’t be throwing a tantrum. Neither did YOU really die in the last Call of Duty session you had.
10. Aversion to shopping
Women aren’t totally clueless about why men hate shopping. There’s the changing room queues, hot shop lights, hours of indecision and even a meltdown or two when accompanying their partners. But what’s annoying is when men don’t even want to shop for themselves. Women understand that men go for comfort and ease, but wearing the same few outfits over and over is mindboggling.
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