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Tags:   Humour,   Social Media

By Mila Camilleri   -  September 28, 2015

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A while back SWAG brought you part one of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: Maltese Facebook Users. Stereotypes included The Creepers, The Geriatrics and The Couples. It's time to continue our exploration through the sea of different types of users our tiny island has to offer. And guys, don't be offended. If you see yourself in any of these categories, you might want to take the opportunity to reflect on your actions and seek help.

The Party Animal


The Good: The local clubbing scene is pretty impressive, given that Malta’s so small. Both locals and tourists can confirm that we offer some of the best nightlife in the Med.


The Bad: Dear party promoter, no I don’t care that an obscure DJ I’ve never heard of is playing in some dodgy club down south. Please refrain from tagging me every chance you get. 


The Ugly: If you stumble on a hardcore party person’s profile, you’ll know it. You won’t find much other than sweaty club selfies, photos of shot trays, event posters, grainy DJ video footage and proclamations of “Messiv night out l-ahwa.” The photo albums are almost a greater source of entertainment than the party itself.



The Pre-Teen


The Good: Teens and Facebook go hand in hand. If the site is used properly, there’s no reason why it shouldn’t be a fun way to make friends. Cute, right?


The Bad: But let’s be real. We don’t know about you, but it’s been over a decade since we were pre-teens and things have changed. And we’re scared. We didn’t have the technology that’s available today and the negativity that comes along with it is unchartered territory to us. Skinny (and some not so much) 12-year old girls in uncomfortably short shorts. Boys wearing super tight jeans hanging off their bums, with hair quaffed enough to add another three inches of height makes us scratch our heads in confusion. Where are their parents? Is this okay? Are we just really out of the loop?


The Ugly: Facebook seems to be one big popularity contest. Who has the most friends, who is ranked the hottest from 1 to 10 in status ‘competitions’, photos from teen parties that make us simultaneously feel uncomfortable and entertained, proclamations of devotion for the “lav of maj lajf” – we could go on, but we shan’t.


We’d like to pass on some words of encouragement to these kids: Timberland shoes aren’t a status symbol, and spelling well might not make you popular with your peers now, but wait a few years and you’ll be those twats’ boss.



The Fanfri



The Good: Not all people are equal – fair enough. Some show off more than others. If you had the means to go on holiday every couple of months, build a home movie theatre, get straight As or have the motivation to have a six-pack, admit it, you’d totally tell people about it.


The Bad: Although people have been dealt different cards in life, it doesn’t make you feel any better when those who unashamedly show off flashy purchases, Business Class perks or bicep close-ups are rubbing it in your face. It’s great for them and all, but that doesn’t stop you from doing terrible things to them in your head.


The Ugly: After horrendous Monday morning traffic you’re finally at work. There’s no coffee and your annoying colleague is telling you all about their weekend, which you really couldn’t give two sh*ts about. So you log into Facebook and the first post you see is your beautiful friend’s selfie taken on some ridiculously idyllic beach in Goa. They’re on the first leg of their six-month trip around the world and you’re about to remind your colleague to refill the toilet paper. You stare blankly at your screen and pray that Boiler Numru 7 acts up, so you can go home and do nothing.



The Alias


The Good: An alias can be in the form of a character or celebrity name in place of the user’s actual name, or even a real life nickname. No harm there really, although we don’t see the point.


The Bad: The issue arises when the person goes so deep undercover that their profile almost seems fake and you don’t know what to think when Mark Naruto DragonballZ adds you. Do you know him? Did you go to school together? Is this real life?


The Ugly: Your phone vibrates. Oh look, a new friend request. You examine the profile.Iz-Zobblu Ciantar has added you as a friend’. His profile picture is Chuck Norris. Delete.





The Needy


The Good: When Facebook is used to keep in touch with friends rather than annoy everyone, sometimes it does help to reach out to gain insight to a problem or situation that you’re finding difficult.


The Bad: Maybe they have slow self-esteem. Maybe they’re lonely. Maybe they’re trying to make their partner jealous. Everyone has reasons. We just wish The Needy knew that validation doesn’t come in the form of ‘likes’ or messages of ‘Ejja, kuragg.


The Ugly: If you’re at a funeral, the last thing you should be doing is taking a selfie with the coffin the background, making a frowny face. “RIP Nann :( xx” is not a fitting way to say your goodbyes or get sympathy from your Facebook friends.



Do you know of any other stereotypical Facebook user? Comment below!


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