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Tags:   Humour,   Social Media

By Mila Camilleri   -  May 28, 2015

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A majority of the Maltese population has a Facebook account – which they take very seriously. In between petitions to end world hunger, Internet cats, dumb quiz requests and the latest Hollywood skandlu, we find a plethora of Maltese users and the quirks and bad habits that follow suit.


Here’s part one of SWAG’s take on the different types of Maltese Facebook users. If you don’t fit into any of these categories, congratulations!

The Open Books


The Good: There are some dedicated Facebook users who share poignant or meaningful posts with people. Unfortunately we’re not friends with many of them.


The Bad: Good morning posts. Food photos. Traffic selfies. Screenshots of ‘hilarious’ personal conversations. Asking for relationship advice… Everyone has that friend (or more than one if you’re unlucky), who shares every tedious aspect of their lives on Facebook. All we can say to these people is thank you for making us feel like well adjusted adults.


The Ugly: The pointless posts that clutter your wall however all become worth it when drama escalates and a heated debate turns ugly. You finally find out why Chantelle was ‘feeling sad :(‘ last night – it was all Dione’s fault. He was talking to Thrisianne behind Chantelle’s back, and there are screenshots to prove it. Ommi ma.




The Geriatrics


The Good: It’s nice that the older generation is keeping up with technology. Facebook gives them a way to keep in touch with family and whatever friends they have left that are still above ground.


The Bad: Unsolicited, never-ending game or app requests, caps lock, embarrassing article recommendations, Saints of the day, comments in the form of formal letters … these are just some of the irritating habits that plague old people.


The Ugly: Your dear old nanna commenting on or ‘liking’ a picture you were tagged in from last night’s żiblata is never a good thing. “QISEK ĦADT GOST. OQGĦOD ATTENT ĦANINI. META SE NARAK? NANNA TESSIE.”




The Couples


The Good: ‘Maria Simon Grech Borg’ love each other so much that they decided to share a Facebook account, and by ‘they’, we mean Maria. We guess this signifies that they have no secrets between them, and believe in honesty and communication ... right?


The Bad: We wonder what Simon did to deserve this fate. Was he a naughty boy in the past? Did he dare sow his seeds in another woman’s lady garden? Maria doesn’t trust him enough to have his own profile, so he has to live his social media life in shackles.


The Ugly: Simon's attending a hen’s night, poking his mother-in-law, commenting on cake recipes and even taking relationship quizzes. Or is he? He must be the butt of his friends’ jokes. We feel for you bro!




 The Creepers


The Good: With no new posts and hardly any social interaction with friends, some users are seemingly in hibernation. But don’t let your guard down – these ninjas of Facebook are probably prowling your profile as you read this. We need to thank them for not spewing word vomit and instead using Facebook for its intended use – snooping.


The Bad: Snooping isn’t good if you’re the one that’s being snooped (it’s a word, okay?). Did you get a friend request from a colleague you never speak to a few months ago, but haven’t seen activity from them since? You happen to look at their phone over their shoulder and realise they’re scrolling through your timeline. Not cool.


The Ugly: If you notice that you’re bumping into a certain someone more often, maybe at a bar or party, and it’s too much of a coincidence, you might have a case of FS. Facebook Stalking. Frequently checking-in or showing your location isn’t a great idea, especially if you’re ‘friends’ with many people you don’t know. The world doesn’t need to know your every move. 




The Activists


The Good: The Activist is known for trying to raise awareness about many good causes. Without people like this, the world would be worse off, as the majority of us are sofa activists sitting on our arses showing support ‘in spirit’.


The Bad: Petitioning to fix our roads, enforcing the neutering of stray cats, fighting for minority rights – these are all causes you’re probably okay with supporting. By ‘supporting’ we mean ‘liking’ a Facebook page or signing your name on a petition. But receiving all these pleas for help all the time, every day, from the same few people make you reconsider your stance on euthanising kittens.


The Ugly: You’re having a discussion about the depletion of the Amazon rainforest and someone is offended by your lack of activism and overuse of paper. They proudly tell you they do their best to raise awareness about what’s really going on … by sharing statuses from the official Amazon Rainforest Facebook page and handing out leaflets at Republic Street.



Check out SWAG's The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: Maltese Facebook Users (Part 2) here.


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