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ARTICLES > HUMOUR


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS: MALTA EDITION

Tags:   Humour

By Mila Camilleri   -  February 27, 2015


   Humour malta,  First World Problems: Malta Edition malta, Humour malta, Swag Mens Online Magazine Malta

Although it's a fact that's debated by many, Malta is not actually a third world country, and in fact has a lot to be thankful for. But this doesn’t stop most of our people from complaining. A lot.

 

A ‘first world problem’ is a ‘problem’ that is commented upon by people who are privileged enough to have all of life’s commodities at hand. In fact, most of these issues are quite trivial, but take a moment to think how tough it is for the poor people who have to face these daily 'struggles'. Then have a good laugh.

 

Here’s a SWAG list of first world problems we've all experienced at one point or another. And remember folks, this is all in good fun.

1. PIZELLI OR IRKOTTA?

 

The age-old debate that has brought many people's lunch breaks to a grinding halt.

 


 

2. I HAD TO WAIT TWO HOURS FOR MY FREE DOCTOR’S APPOINTMENT!

 

If you injure your leg in Malta, making your way to a polyclinic or Mater Dei will result in you being seen to, relatively quickly. In some other countries, you will be left outside on the pavement, arterial spurt and all, all because you don’t have healthcare insurance.

 


 

3. MY STIPEND IS ONLY €84!

 

The University of Malta gives students free money. In some other countries, students get a huge mountain of debt.

 


 

4. PIZZA4U’S PIZZAS HAVE TOO MANY TOPPINGS!

 

If you’ve ever tried this iconic establishment’s pizza, you’ll know of this struggle.

 


 

5. MY PARENTS ARE CONSTANTLY NAGGING ME FOR COMING HOME LATE – I’M 35 FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

 

We Maltese are notorious for taking quite a while to leave the nest. If you’re 35 and your mama’ is still ironing your underpants, you might want to re-evaluate your life.

 


 

6. I POSTED IN 'ARE YOU BEING SERVED?' COMPLAINING ABOUT THE PRICE I PAID FOR ORGANIC KALE AND MOIRA DELETED MY POST!

 

You don’t discuss prices in RUBS. Come on people! Thread closed. And for the record, LIDL is NOT open on a Sunday.

 


 

7. THE FLOUR AND OIL FROM MY HOBZA BIZ-ZEJT IS GETTING EVERYWHERE!

 

Who doesn’t love an oily hobza to line the stomach? The downside is that the bread’s flour and greasy goodness tends to find it’s way to every crevice imaginable. Still, at least you're not queuing at a food bank. Or waiting for a charity air drop in a remote village somewhere, are you?

 


 

8. I’M FREEZING, IT’S 10 DEGREES MAAA!

 

As a nation, we’re not very used to extreme temperatures, say, anything above 28 or under 15 degrees. Even though we experience them every year, the obligatory Facebook status rants are inevitable.

 


 

9. I KNOW I’VE BEEN BITCHING ABOUT OUR ROADS FOR YEARS, BUT THESE DIVERSIONS ARE SO IRRITATING!

 

If the roads are moon surfaces, we complain. If they're being fixed, we complain. 

 


 

10. I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH GALLETTI FOR MY BIGILLA!

 

Your bag of galletti is all gone but you’ve still got half a tub of bigilla left. What to do? Use a spoon, perhaps?

 


 

11. I KNOW I SHOULD VOTE, BUT I DON’T FEEL LIKE LEAVING THE HOUSE...

 

Freedom of speech, democracy, the choice to vote – it's incredible how many people take them for granted...

 


 

12. I HAVE TO DRIVE HALF AN HOUR TO GET THERE?

 

The concept of driving more than 15 minutes doesn’t sit well with us, does it? For most foreigners, getting from one end of the country to the other in 40 minutes is a luxury. And what about the fuss we make when we can't park right outside wherever it is we want to go?

 


 

13. OH, NO! VICTORY DAY IS ON A SATURDAY!

 

Malta is officially one of the countries with the most public holidays in the world - but all hell breaks loose when one of them falls on a weekend, depriving us of the occasional free day.

 

 


 

14. MY STARTING WAGE IS ONLY €18,000 A YEAR – I’M A COMMUNICATIONS GRADUATE! I HAVE A DEGREE! MY LIFE SUCKS!

 

Well, yes, your life sucks because you have a Communicatios degree. But in all seriousness, unemployment is an issue all over Europe. Many graduates are perfecting the art of “would you like fries with that?”, so if you’ve managed to land yourself a decent office job, as most Maltese graduates are still doing, be grateful.

 


 

15. I WANT A RED ELECTRIC BLANKET BUT LIDL ONLY HAS THEM IN BLUE!

 

If only the amount of people making use of their indicators whilst driving equals the queues outside Lidl on the morning of a new product launch, Malta would be a better place.

 


 

What problems have YOU faced? Let us know!



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