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Tags:   Babes,   Fun,   Relationships,   Creative women,   Theatre

By The Swag Team   -  February 02, 2015

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Photo credit:  Joanne Demarco

If you’re one of that fast-dying breed that still thinks women can't be as funny as men, check out this SWAG interview with Nicolà Abela Garrett. The 23-year-old thespian and one-time stand up comedian was born at St Luke’s Hospital, although, in her own words… “I’dve liked to emerge from my mother’s womb within the four walls of a private hospital, but no matter how many times I kicked my mummy’s tummy, nobody got the message.”


Tell us a bit about your education and career so far…


I came down with a serious case of ‘oh-bollocks-I’m-destined-to-be-a-drama-student’ at St Monica School Birkirkara, which was followed by two years at Masquerade Theatre Arts School. In the meantime, I focused on learning French and German, because I sound bloody sexy speaking foreign languages. 


I then graduated with a BA Hons in Theatre Studies from the University of Malta. During this time, I went on my Erasmus posting at the University of Kent, and travelled to France with the Maltese student company Whatstheirnames Theatre to participate in the International Student-Theatre Festival, and things theatrically picked up from there. 


I’ve worked primarily with the MADC, who have always given me the chance to expand my repertoire and grow in a professional environment as an actor. In August 2013, I left for London to study for my MA in Acting at the Academy of Live and Recorded Arts. ‘I’ve come to London to seek my fortune!’ I said as I went through security at Heathrow. Fifteen months later I was broke and destitute. But I did get my Masters.


I also do quite a bit of writing, and I’ve got a few projects coming up in the near future.


What have been your best achievements so far?


I’m quite proud of the choices I’ve made. I believe that risk-taking and a thirst for experience are both achievements in themselves. But in terms of productions, two of the milestones have been Calendar Girls and my Masters dissertation, which was the debut of my new sitcom. I also came third in a play competition in London. That had provoked many a victory punch. 


I suppose I’m mostly remembered for something that ultimately has nothing to do with my career (a heckling incident at University – Ed), but let’s leave that can of worms aside. I hope I will be renowned for other things than that. I hope people are engaged by my performances onstage. I hope people will remember me for being a decent sort of person, you know, the kind you wouldn’t want to emigrate to avoid. In reality, I’m actually known as the crazy cat lady with a bitchin’ cleavage.


Are there any musical or theatre stars that have inspired you and whom you try to emulate?


I draw inspiration from a number of people for their different qualities. I look to Angelina Jolie and Marion Cotillard for their artistic integrity. I seek literary inspiration from John Sullivan and Richard Curtis. I turn to my daddy for strength and ambition. And funds. I also relate to Nigella Lawson; we both make a show-stopping chocolate cake and we’ve both got… yes, you guessed it, a bitchin’ cleavage.


What is your current project?      


I’ve just finished a successful production of a beautiful verbatim piece called Unprotected in London, and I’m now back on the island for personal reasons. I’ll be making a cameo appearance (read small part) in this year’s MADC production of Romeo and Juliet, and I’ve also got a top-secret project in the pipeline overseas, but it’s all hush-hush for now. 


Can you share an amusing story from your stage experiences so far?


Some old West End theatres have a vermin infestation, and I learnt this the hard way. In one particular production, the whole cast had to sit very still onstage in darkness throughout the entire performance, unless it was your turn to perform a scene. My colleague and I were sitting two metres apart in full view of the audience.


We were 10 minutes into the show when I saw the quick dart of something minute and tailed under my seat. My blood pressure plummeted. I wanted more than anything to jump up, screech and evacuate the entire audience, but that would have been very unprofessional. I had another 40 minutes until I could get up, so I was stuck in the dark with a tiny mouse just under my skirt. 


I surreptitiously clicked my heels, and saw the mouse running to take refuge under my colleague’s bench. She too had noticed this mousy presence. She twitched her foot, and the mouse darted back under my bench. We played-pass-the-mouse until I finally had permission to get up and do my scene, leaving her in the dark at the mercy of Mousy.


Who is your ideal man, and what must he do to woo you?


Let’s have a mixture of Chris Evans, Channing Tatum and Kit Harington, all rolled into one. He that brings forth a lifetime supply of sushi shall be rewarded with bitchin’ cleavage. I’m hoping this becomes a thing.


I tend to go for men who intellectually stimulate me. I like nothing better than good banter while I perform a blackhead extraction on him. A great sense of humour is key. I love making men laugh, and I love it when they make me laugh. And for the love of God, would whoever wins my heart please not ******* cheat on me?   


What would be your ideal date?


A lovely sushi dinner, interesting conversation, followed by a good film and/or other things, if you know what I mean.


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