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ARTICLES > LIFESTYLE/HUMOUR


EIGHT GIFTS YOUR DAD DEFINITELY DOESN'T WANT

Tags:   Dads,   Gifts,   Christmas

By The Swag Team   -  December 19, 2014


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Photo credit:  www.theguardian.com


Your dad doesn't really want socks, ties or hankies every Christmas. But this SWAG list features even worse gifts, all given by thoughtless sons to their fathers. Perhaps dad should know that the alternatives are far, far worse.

1. Nothing

 

Once, shortly after World War II, a father told his hard-up student son “not to waste money on a present for me. Get something for yourself instead”. As parents did in those days of parents not wanting their kids to suffer the privations that they went through. But come Christmas morning that’s exactly what the mean-spirited lad did.

 

 

2. A bottle of manly shampoo wrapped in a dishcloth

 

Some presents are just lazy, but it’s always a dad who gets them. This bizarre combination was once given to a London dad as thanks for 18 years of feeding, clothing and housing...

 

 

3. Fire extinguisher

 

One of the dreaded “practical” presents which kids buy for their fathers. This one was given to a hapless dad even though his family was living in a stone house and he didn't have a garage or a car that looked like it was going to catch fire any time soon.

 

 

4. A Cannibal Corpse CD

 

While his old man may have had nothing against Corpse, it does seem likely that this son was thinking more of himself.

 

 

5. Toffee

 

A favourite “worst present”, usually given to dads who have false teeth. Often lies around in a sock drawer until a hated aunt’s birthday, when it’s passed on.

 

 

6. Mouth exerciser

 

If you do decide to buy your dad one of these unhygienic face-stretchers, don’t be surprised to find it, untouched, in the bathroom cabinet two years later. All other “exercisers” go similarly unused.

 

7. Hostess trolley

 

It isn’t only sons who shower their dads with crap. The hostess trolley is a favourite gift for mums to dads. The dads are usually so grateful to their doting wives that they let the women have exclusive use of this gem of a present.

 

 

8. Warning triangle for car breakdowns

 

Yes, they’re really sensible, and really useful, but why give them to anybody as a present? Why not just give the old man a sticker with “I Am Boring” on it to put on his forehead, and get it over and done with.

 



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