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Tags:   Skills,   Fun,   Relationships

By The Swag Team   -  July 18, 2014

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Photo credit:  www.fubiz.net

Perhaps you’ve just got your exam results and are thinking of the next stage of your education as you scale life’s ladder. Or maybe you’re single, feel you’re stuck in a rut and are debating changing careers. Men, these are massively important decisions that will shape the rest of your life, so think carefully about how to proceed.


Of course, you may want to settle down with someone who believes in equality and sharing burdens equally, through thick and thin, as a substantial portion of women do nowadays. On the other hand, if your main goal in life is to impress the opposite sex, there’s still plenty of candidates who are queueing up to take on what you can offer: just check out www.sugardaddies.com. With some women now earning €13,000 (allegedly) a month, you have a tough task ahead of you, so you may want to consider one of these suggestions.


10 – Academic


The job may not actually pay much but knowledge is power. Making new discoveries and being fêted for them will make you the centre of attention. Women will be falling over themselves trying to make you their mentor. Just don’t go for any of your own students.


9 – TV or movie star, producer or director


Being on or involved in TV or the movies will mean red carpet events, papparazzi cameras and lots of attention. This also counts for being a successful footballer… but only a tiny fraction of us will actually make it big so we combined these two careers as they both require a certain amount of luck rather than just hard work. Why do you think women lap up celebrity and soap opera magazines like ravenous dogs?


8 – Banker / stockbroker


Financial security guaranteed. Exotic holidays, shiny gifts, unlimited credit card use. It may sound old fashioned, but no one can deny that some (read: many) women still find that attractive.


7 – Architect / designer


Not only will you never be out of work (especially in Malta), women will also see you as a creative, artistic type – the best of both worlds.


6 – Management Consultant


Women like men who can talk the talk and, management consultancy is all about that. Just visit a few offices, bang on a few tables, give the employees a ‘Coffee’s for closers’ speech, spout some jargon no one understands, collect your big fat cheque and it’s off to do some blue sky thinking on a deckchair with a hot blonde by your side.


5 – IT professional


This is a good one as you can make millions without having to wear a suit and tie: indeed you can go into work in last year’s short combat pants and flip flops – see Mark Zuckerburg. Before you know it you’ll be right up there with Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, donating millions to charity. And women like men who give to charity.


4 – Politician


If knowledge is power, politics is a nuclear power station. You may not have people’s actual lives in your hand (see Surgeon, further down) but you damn well control their everything else. That kind of knowledge is sexy.


3 – Company director


You make all the big decisions, you work as and when you want, you get perks such as bills paid for, a company car, you control the lives of your employees… What’s not to like? Once you get that woman you’ve been wanting to impress, you’ll be giving up your right to choose your secretary though.


2 – Lawyer – Judge


What do you call six lawyers chained to the bottom of the ocean? A good start. Those old jokes about lawyers? Don’t believe anyone really feels that way. Men who are lawyers? Women want them and other men secretly want to be them.


1 – Surgeon


You have the power of life or death – and the yacht tied up at the marina tells the rest of the story. Have you ever heard of a single surgeon?


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