CARTOON BABES WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE
SWAG challenges any man over the age of 35 to think back to their childhood years and not come up with at least one cartoon crush from the age where television was king, a booster was something you stuck on your roof and heaven was an episode of Bim Bum Bam.
The Occhi di Gatto trio
Originally known as Cat's Eye, this cartoon featuring three well-endowed girls who become art burglars for a good cause. It started off as a Japanese manga comic, but was made into a TV series in 1983. By 1986 pimply Maltese youth were fantasising about the Kisugi sisters, Hitomi, Rui and Ai (Shiela, Kelly and Tati in the Italian dub) if they could only manage to convince their parents to switch the Grundig to Italia Uno from the endless live parliamentary debates showing on Xandir Malta…
Jessica Rabbit
Jessica was the ‘human’ wife of cartoon character Roger in the ground-breaking 1988 film Who Framed Roger Rabbit. The artist who drew her was inspired by famous pinups of the 40s and 50s such as Rita Hayworth and Lauren Bacall. In the film, she is one of several suspects in the framing of her husband, which only served to make her even more mysterious and alluring. Her dubious morals made it very hard to believe her claim: "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way…"
Jem (of the Holograms)
Sure, this was a girls’ show, like Mila e Shiro, but, well, it was either her or Smurfette (Pufetta). Jem was the star of an American cartoon that ran from 1985 to 1988. The series was about music company owner Jerrica Benton, her singer alter-ego Jem, her band the Holograms, and their adventures, including a running battle against the, more-alluring-in-their-ripped-stocking Misfits band.
Venus Alfa
Venus Alfa, or Aphrodite A in the original Japanese, was the robot partner of Mazinga Zeta (Mazinger Z) in a series about Earth’s battles against alien mechanical invaders. While the show’s male star could create havoc thanks to all sorts of beams and projectiles issued from various orifices, Venus Alfa only had one weapon: a pair of missiles. But it’s where she fired them from that was so intriguing. If you’ve never actually seen this cartoon, take a look at the picture and see if you can guess.
Goldie Gold
Goldie Gold and Action Jack was a 1981 American series that aired for only one season. It followed the adventures of wealthy teenager Goldie Gold, who somehow owned a newspaper, her ace reporter companion Action Jack Travis, and her dog Nugget. Despite the fact that only 13 episodes were produced, the sight of Miss Gold in a bikini by the side of her aeroplane’s pool has remained strangely imprinted in the minds of many an early 80s child. Or maybe it’s just me.
Lamu
Also known in the original Japanese cartoon as Lum Invader, Lamu was the female protagonist of the show called Urusei Yatsura, also starring the hapless Ataru Moroboshi. With her tiger stripe bikini and go go boots, generations of viewers would bang their heads on the wall asking why Ataru was not interested in taking advantage of that shapely figure that was repeatedly made available to him. Okay, she was an alien who could electrocute you with just one touch, but still…
Penelope Pitstop
It certainly was a case of ‘catch the pigeon’ whenever the shapely Ms Pitstop turned up in those Wacky Races that also starred Dick Dastardly and his dog Muttley of the hoarse giggle fame. Penelope's car was called the Compact Pussycat, was pink, had front bumpers that looked like a pair of lips with lipstick on them and was equipped with an assortment of beauty supplies. It sure was a pretty contrast to Dick’s assortment of phallic rocket-powered vehicles that always ended up blowing themselves up before the chequered flag was waved.
Daphne of Scooby Doo
Daphne Blake came from a wealthy family, had red hair and was noted for her fashion sense, as opposed to nerdy Velma, the other girl in Scooby Doo’s group of pesky kids. Oh how we longed to save her from those monsters whenever she inevitably got kidnapped, tied up and gagged in some dark, dank, mysterious castle. “Oh poor, poor Daphne, are you alright? Let me untie you my dear…”
Lady Oscar
We knew the show as Lady Oscar, but in English-speaking countries they called it The Rose of Versailles. While the original manga comic and cartoon have gone on to be adapted into several musicals and still boasts a massive fan club, she is more well-known in Malta for the moment when an entire nation of schoolboys held its breath as she finally took that uniform off. This was immediatley followed by a shocked intake of breath as we saw that she had no nipples.
Wilma Flintstone
Wilma was the red-headed wife of caveman Fred Flintstone, the mother of Pebbles Flintstone, and one mighty fine MILF. Her best friend was her next door neighbour, the also quite alluring Betty Rubble. Wilma was a level-headed woman, often criticizing Fred for pursuing his various ill-fated schemes. She was also the one to bail out Fred when his schemes landed him in trouble. What with helpless Daphne, Japanese sex sirens and strong-willed Wilma Flinstone, these 80s kids’ cartoons certianly introduced us to a broad spectrum of womanhood didn’t they?
Fujiko from Lupin (a.k.a Margot)
Even more than Lamu, Fujiko Mine was the stuff of dreams for the boys of the turbulent 80s. Her name means ‘mountain peaks of Fuji’, apparently a pun on the size of her breasts, which was the only consistent thing about her appearance during the course of the long-running series about Lupin III, a French thief with a heart of gold and his brain in his pants. Her appearence changed so much that they even changed her name to Margot in the Italian dub in one season - but I assure she was the same character. Trust me, I've researched this. According to Wikipedia, the character was created by someone who called himself Monkey Punch. While several things one can do to a monkey were done in bedrooms all over the island after Fujiko appeared in an episode of Lupin, punching was probably not one of them.
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